DON'T SPEND IT ALL ON SWEETS

EXTREME SHERLOCK THEORIES

shaddicted:

laurizplease:

SEEMS LEGIT.

(via hiddlesbatches)

Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.

I’ve seen a few bucket lists lately and I think they’re very much subject to circumstance - many things we consider important now, we give very little thought to later like lost loves, fickle friends and past problems. But still, it’s always interesting to pick your brains for a list of things you deem important at this point in time, so here goes.

1. Live in London
2. Travel the world
3. Become intimate with another language
4. Finish writing a book
5. Read more than 1000 books varying in genre and time period
6. Listen to at least a month of music
7. Be involved in a global movement
8. Mingle with politics
9. Donate at least £10,000
10. Become familiar with as much astrophysics as possible
11. Go to an opera
12. Read the religious books - the Bible, the Qu’ran, the Torah etc.
13. Understand one or more religions fully, like Buddhism and Hinduism
14. Read poetry to others
15. Pursue a career I love
16. Strive to be truly tolerant
17. Design my own house
18. Have children
19. Dine and ditch
20. Skydive
21. Fight for something I believe in

Those are the ones off the top of my head that are pretty much ideas that have been kicking around since I considered a bucket list about a month ago. Reading it back, it isn’t particularly specific so perhaps I’m wrong about bucket lists changing. Although I’d say while these are things I want to do, I most likely won’t do them because they’re on my bucket list - I’ll do them because I’ll want to.

If anyone asks, I was doing bucket lists before they were cool. 

UYLS. ILS.

P.S. The quote’s from Dead Poets Society. Robin Williams and poetry, smashing.

MILK WAS A BAD CHOICE

It transpires that most people just spam pictures on their Tumblr. Nothing wrong with that, usually they have pretty awesome pictures but I prefer the ol’ text. A woman today asked me why I was wearing my trenchcoat instead of “a hoodie or something”. Oh hey lady, if we’ve entered the unnecessary questions part of this chat show slot, why have you got a yappy white rat on a leash? What does it do, besides leaving little landmines of shit everywhere? Also, why are you even talking to me in the first place? Do I have some sort of natural expression of desperate loneliness? No. So when I reply “It’s a comfortable coat that I enjoy wearing”, don’t look at me as if I just spat the accusation “Nazi!” at you. You started the conversation, sorry I did not answer with your expected “Just robbed it from some minted manz” reply. Also if we’re judging from appearance, you have not one, not two but THREE gossip magazines in your talons. That tells me all I need to know. But I didn’t blurt out my question of how you convince yourself those rags are worthwhile reads, because I don’t know you. Anyway, I’ve hit the exams wall again. And after months, years of trying to go around it, over it and under it I’ve realised. You’ve got to smash straight through it. I’m gonna smash it, I’m gonna smash it Bryn! Gavalar reference for the enlightened there. So in summary, prying ladies, yappy shit factory dogs and smashed walls. Quote’s Ron Burgundy from Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy. Incredible film, not possible to describe my love of it through text.

UYLS. ILS.

The world’s the same size, there’s just less in it

Perhaps it’s a classic case of the grass is greener, but I felt a lot more social a couple of years ago. I used to hang out with different groups of people in a very maverickesque way and I was disliked by a few, but overall their impact on my life was minimal. But then other people changed, fell out with each other, formed new (and on occasion elitist) groups and in a frankly painful ironic twist, became more obsessed with vanity as we grew up. Good people mixed with bad people and were poisoned with malice. And in what seemed like days the people I knew and loved had changed for the worse. Or so I thought.

Everyone can very easily bring up the face of a friend who has always been a truly decent person. I see this friend as one of my best and he is certainly an exception to the rule. He has changed but for the better - he’s happier for it. He’s comfortable enough with himself to not need to put down others. A better person than me for certain. Although I have always had a smaller sphere of friendship than he. Before this year, I have mainly stuck to my fellow students in my school year. But due to me being (and I flatter myself here) a total arsehole to him for a large portion of our early secondary school years, he made good friends with others in our school that I didn’t know and didn’t bother trying to know. Then finally, through another of our mutual friends (one I have drifted away from now after a good four years of close friendship) he met a group of people who go to a different school. Being the decent chap he is, they immediately took to him and he established a firm friendship with them. But I’m only really friends with one or two of them and I’m definitely not in their group. Without sounding terribly depressing, I’m not really in any group. My other friend who I would regard as one of the funniest friends I’ve ever had is drifting away too. Maybe it’s just the combination of exhaustion and heartbreak that’s making me feel so sombre about my friendships, but if there’s one thing to be gleamed from this, and apologies in advance for being so incredibly cliché, is that real friends are just as easy to lose as normal ones, it’s all about how determined we are to stop it from happening.

Title is Captain Jack Sparrow from At World’s End.

UYLS. ILS.

We’re putting the band back together

So today was the first day of Year 11. Wasn’t particularly exciting. Sure you see everyone and it’s good but the euphoria wears off. But that’s okay, because by that time you’re back in school mode. I figure this year would be a good time to stop being such a coaster, cavalier, winger, waster (I’ve been called all of these, but the last one just made me laugh). 

The one thing I cannot fathom is why they continuously put so much SHIT in the homework diaries we have. They’re basically orange planners (yep, orange!) but they have stuff like SATS level literacy and a mini code of conduct. Okay, you might argue that this is useful to a new student? Fuck off is it! You can’t learn the ropes from a planner and even if you could no one would anyway. Also an incredibly random red, orange and green facts and figures section. If I wanted useless fucking knowledge I’d still be doing Food Tech (got to drop it after Year 9, so happy I almost cried, but settled on sticking milk in the FT microwave).

So in Year 9, we also started our ICT GCSE. Awesome? No!

‘Why not?’ you cry! Well, it sort of has something to do with the little inconvenience that my teacher was an egotistical arsehole with a superiority AND Messiah complex to boot. ‘That’s okay, just grit your teeth and bear it!’

Oh, what’s that? The teacher has decided to start random arguments with you?

Yeah. This guy had some insane policy of how he was ‘the top dog’ and that I was threatening his position. He’d then say something and add afterwards. ‘That’s why I’m Top Dog and you’re not!’ on occasion. 

The second I contribute to his conclusion with ‘It’s also why you’re a twat and I’m not’ (I am but this guy blows me out the water) it’s all ‘You need to learn respect’ and ‘Don’t mess with me’. This guy genuinely believed that I would regret being rude to him because I’d ‘undoubtedly have to work under him again in Year 11’. 

Say what, say what, woo hoo oh yeah?

I DON’T HAVE YOU FOR YEAR 11? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNSgIMQ0L2s

OH YEAH! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBUsuNBWVus&feature=related)

I also had plans for a IN YOUR FACE! to the tune of Can’t Touch This by MC Hammer. Work in progress.

Anyway, good day.

The title of course is Jake from The Blues Brothers.

UYLS. ILS.

This is madness!

In case you were wondering about my sanity, I thought you’d like to get a look at this page me and my friends occasionally update.

http://dastardlyadventuresofthesirs.webs.com/

Basically, two of my best mates and I take on the personas of three people working on a freelance basis for Her Majesty’s Secret Sandwich Service. 

I’m Sir Tarquin Lamb Pasanda and you’re about to be ‘filled’ in.

UYLS. ILS.

P.S. Obvious one for the title. Persian messenger, 300.